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by yonen

Why did the girl take a ladder to school?

December 11, 2009 in Funny

Q: Why can’t babies get married?
A: They don’t know how to tie the knot.
Q: Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A: Because she was going to high school!
Q: What invention allows you to see through walls?
A: Windows.
Q: What do you call two bananas peels?
A: A pair of slippers.
Q: Why did the soldier salute the tiger?
A: Because the tiger had more stripes.
Q: What di the rock pool say to the other rock pool?
A: My mussles are bigger than yours!
Q: Which travels faster, cold or heat?
A: Heat, because you can catch cold.
Q: Why did Polly put the kettle on?
A: Because she had nothing else to wear.
Q: Why did the little girl take candy to sleep?
A: To have sweet dreams.
Q: What has a hundred legs but can’t walk?
A: Fifty pairs of pants.
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them too!
Q: A woman has seven children, half of them are boys. How can this be possible?
A: All the children are boys, so half are boys and so are the other half.
Yahoo!QA

Some More For The Kids Are These Funny Or Not?

June 12, 2009 in Funny

Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Q: Tommy’s mom has 3 sons. One son’s name is Nickel. The next son’s name was Dime. What was the third son’s name?
A: Tommy – Tommy’s mom only has three sons!
Q:a very short guy, a miget, lives in a real tall apartment building. If its raining outside he takes the elevator, but if its clear and sunny he takes they stairs. why?
A: when its sunny he can’t reach the elevator buttons but when its raining he can push the buttons with his umbrella.
Q: In Michigan is it legal to marry your widows sister?
A: It’s not possible because you would be dead
Q: Timothy Titus tied two tall knots in two tall trees how many T’s are in that?
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A: 2
Yahoo!QA

Another One For Kids Are These Funny?

June 11, 2009 in Funny

What is twenty metres long, ugly, and sings ‘Scotland The Brave’?
The Loch Ness Songster.
What followed the Loch Ness Monster?
A whopping big tail.
What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?
Long time no sea.
What do you call a Scottish sea monster who hangs people?
The Loch Noose Monster.
What do you get if you cross a fashion designer with a sea monster?
The Loch Dress Monster.
What is large, yellow, lives in Scotland and has never been seen?
The Loch Ness Canary.
Which is the unluckiest monster in the world?
The Luck Less Monster.
Boy: Mom, why can’t I swim in Loch Ness?
Mother: Because there are monsters in it.
Boy: But dad’s swimming there.
Mother: That’s different. He’s insured.
Did you hear about the man who tried to cross the Loch Ness Monster with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
What do you get if you cross the Loch Ness Monster with a shark?
Loch Jaws.
Yahoo!QA

What Are These Numbers In This Riddle?

June 11, 2009 in Riddles

“she who was cast out will return to reign,
her enemies found among conspirators.
More than ever her reign be triumphant.
At three and seventy death is very sure.”
is there any chance it is related to a genetic address?
Yahoo!QA

Now These Are For The Kids Are They Funny?

June 11, 2009 in Funny

What’s yellow, wiggles and is dangerous?
A maggot with attitude!
Why was the glow worm unhappy?
Because her children weren’t that bright!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?
Very big worm holes in your garden!
What reads and lives in an apple?
A bookworm!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It’s been nice gnawing you!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What did the maggot say to another?
What’s a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?
They can lighten your load!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python?
A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death!
Yahoo!QA

How Are These Are They Funny Things Kids Say And Do ?

April 18, 2009 in Funny

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?”
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, hollering, “GET TO BED RIGHT NOW!” As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was that?”
The new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.”
A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandpa, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo while I asked, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
I didn’t know if my grandson had learned his colors yet, so I decided to test him. I would point out something and ask what color it was. he would tell me, and always he was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last he headed for the door, saying sagely, “Grandpa, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!”

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