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School Kids Say The Funniest Things?

November 14, 2010 in Funny

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: George!
Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t
have ten years ago.
Willy: Me!
Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
Billy: No, I’m Billy Anderson.
Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day?
Alfred: I get up early.
Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave?
Student: Yes, sir.
Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn’t have to keep yours.
Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Harold: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Harold: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.” That’s what I did.
Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Don’s paper.
Don: I hope you didn’t either.
Gary: I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.
Teacher: I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.
Teacher: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
Hygiene Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Jose: Don’t bite any.
Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
Ellen: I is…
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say “I am.”
Ellen: All right. “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Teacher: Max, use “defeat,” “defense” and “detail” in a sentence.
Max: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail.
Mother: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
Junior: You said it was my lunch money.
Teacher: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you have?
Sasha: A new bike.
Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent One dollar.
Teacher sadly You don’t know your arithmetic.
Vincent sadlyYou don’t know my father.
Teacher: If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what would I have?
Class Comedian: Big hands!
“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.
“Say, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“No.”
“I’m the principal’s daughter.”
“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.
“No,” she replied.
“Thank goodness!”
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by yonen

When You Were In Elementary School Did A Lot Of Kids Say This?

April 30, 2009 in Funny

‘Up your butt and around the corner’
I remember a lot of kids used to say that.
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