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Ok Here Is A Quick Couple For The Kids Are They Funny And Ok I Know Silly Jokes?

December 19, 2009 in Funny

Q: Why do cows like being told jokes?
A: Because they like being amoosed!
Q: What do cows like to dance to?
A: Any kind of moosic you like!
Q: What game do cows play at parties?
A: Moosical chairs!
Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!

Can Anybody Give Me Some Funny Treasure Hunt Clues For Party For Kids Thanks?

December 18, 2009 in Funny

a place where it rains indoors (shower)
It’s not the north pole, but it sure feels like it in there (fridge)

Why did the mustard win the race?

December 11, 2009 in Funny

Why did the mustard win the race?
Because the ketchup couldn’t catch up.
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do Mayflowers bring?
What has a mouth but never eats, a bed but never sleeps, and a bank but has no money?
A river.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
She saw a good looking rooster on the other side!
Why didn’t the shark eat the woman?
Because it was a man eating shark.
Why did the orange roll down the hill?
Because it run out of juice.
What do soccer players, basketball players and newborn babies have in common?
They dribble.
What’s black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
How deep does a frog like the water?
Knee deep.
How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None.They prefer the dark!
How do porcupines play leapfrog?

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Why did the girl take a ladder to school?

December 11, 2009 in Funny

Q: Why can’t babies get married?
A: They don’t know how to tie the knot.
Q: Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A: Because she was going to high school!
Q: What invention allows you to see through walls?
A: Windows.
Q: What do you call two bananas peels?
A: A pair of slippers.
Q: Why did the soldier salute the tiger?
A: Because the tiger had more stripes.
Q: What di the rock pool say to the other rock pool?
A: My mussles are bigger than yours!
Q: Which travels faster, cold or heat?
A: Heat, because you can catch cold.
Q: Why did Polly put the kettle on?
A: Because she had nothing else to wear.
Q: Why did the little girl take candy to sleep?
A: To have sweet dreams.
Q: What has a hundred legs but can’t walk?
A: Fifty pairs of pants.
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them too!
Q: A woman has seven children, half of them are boys. How can this be possible?
A: All the children are boys, so half are boys and so are the other half.

What is horsepower?

December 11, 2009 in Funny

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know, and then stop.
Question: What is horsepower?
Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit. So, never mind.
Talc is found in rocks and on babies.
The law of gravity says, “No fair jumping without coming down.”
When they broke open molecules, they found they were stuffed with atoms. But, when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. But, when planets do it, we say they are orbiting.

Kids In Church Funny ?

December 10, 2009 in Funny

A little boy was overheard praying:”Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it.I’m having a real good time like I am.”

After the christening of his baby brother in church,Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,”That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service,”And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”One bright little girl replied , “Because a lot of people are sleeping.”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'”
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!”

What’s in the middle of the ocean?

September 13, 2009 in Funny

What’s in the middle of the ocean?
Letter E!
What did the daddy volcano say to his son volcano?
“I lava you”
What goes thousands of miles and never moves?
A highway!
Teacher: What is the shape of the earth?
Sam: Square!
Teacher: Why?
Sam:Because, my father says your fame should spread to all four corners of the world!

Funny Things Your Older Kids Have Asked About Pregnancy/birth?

August 1, 2009 in Funny

So a few minutes ago, my son who is 4, asked me the funniest question about when i am in the hospital delivering the new baby.
“Mommy, when you are done getting the baby out of your tummy, will the doctor give you a lollipop?”
I found this absolutely hysterical, lol. But of course, all kids think that every experience with a doctor is similar to what they experience when they go to their own doctor.
What funny things have your other kids asked you about pregnancy or childbirth?

Has Anyones Baby Had Funny Or Odd First Word?

June 15, 2009 in Funny

angelica_buying_shoesMy 18 month old first spoke at about 12 months she clearly said “shoes” followed by “mom” and now says “mas” (more) this is my 2nd daughter, my first daughter is 3 and is a shoe freak, loves shoes, runs straight to the shoe section at the stores.
I just wanted to know if anyone else kid had a funny or strange first word.

I bet this lake is full of fish oil

June 13, 2009 in Funny

angelica_and_fishWe went up to a lake which is about 15 minutes from our house. It’s up in the mountains, and usually pretty cold, so you can swim there only a short period of time. Anyway, as my two boys, 9 and 10, were walking along the shore looking for frogs, one of the them said “Man, this is way nicer than the local pool”. My youngest replied: “Yeah, and it’s all natural. There’s no chlorine in here.” Then he thought for a moment and said “I bet this lake is full of fish oil. That’s really good for you, you know.”
LOL…out of the mouths of babes…

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