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School Kids Say The Funniest Things?

November 14, 2010 in Funny

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: George!
Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t
have ten years ago.
Willy: Me!
Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
Billy: No, I’m Billy Anderson.
Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day?
Alfred: I get up early.
Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave?
Student: Yes, sir.
Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn’t have to keep yours.
Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Harold: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Harold: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.” That’s what I did.
Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Don’s paper.
Don: I hope you didn’t either.
Gary: I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.
Teacher: I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.
Teacher: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
Hygiene Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Jose: Don’t bite any.
Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
Ellen: I is…
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say “I am.”
Ellen: All right. “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Teacher: Max, use “defeat,” “defense” and “detail” in a sentence.
Max: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail.
Mother: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
Junior: You said it was my lunch money.
Teacher: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you have?
Sasha: A new bike.
Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent One dollar.
Teacher sadly You don’t know your arithmetic.
Vincent sadlyYou don’t know my father.
Teacher: If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what would I have?
Class Comedian: Big hands!
“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.
“Say, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“I’m the principal’s daughter.”
“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.
“No,” she replied.
“Thank goodness!”

Don’t Kids Say The Funniest Things?

December 18, 2009 in Funny

I was at my grandparents in the summertime, and my nana was babysitting. Suddenly, the little boy fell. he didn’t hurt himself, but my nana said “Jesus Christmas!” and the little boy said “It’s not Christmas because there is no snow!”

Poll; Don’t Kids Just Say The Funniest Things?

June 12, 2009 in Funny

What is the worst ‘diss’ a kid ever gave you?

Profile photo of yonen

by yonen

This Will Make You Smile: Kids Say The Funniest Things!?

June 12, 2009 in Funny

1. Jack was watching his Mom breast feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?”
2. Melanie asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Said Melanie, “If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.”
3)One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”
4)It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there!?” he asked.
“It sure is,” I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What he do?”

What's The Funniest Joke Or Riddle That You Ever Heard?

June 11, 2009 in Riddles

Just wondering I need a good laugh. 😉

Don’t You Think That Kids Say The Funniest Things?

May 12, 2009 in Funny

My 8 year old granddaughter “Jossy” asked me one day—Grandmommy, why do you work so much? I hardly see you. Don’t you ever get tired?”
I smiled and told her “No, sweetheart your Grandmommy is a tough old bird!”
“Old bird,” she repeated questioning. She thought about it and went out to play.
A few days later on one of my rare days off, I was busy in the kitchen. Jossy asks me, ” what are we going to eat Grandmommy? I’m hungry!”
I held out my arm and told her, “eat me I’m good.”
My granddaughter didn’t miss a beat. She then replied, “I don’t think that would be a good idea Grandmommy.”
“Why not”, I asked.
Jossy continued to say, “I don’t think you’d taste too good. You said that you were a tough old bird.”
Never forget what jewels your children and grandchildren are.

What’s The Funniest Thing Your Kids Have Ever Said?

May 4, 2009 in Funny

Today we were at Walmart looking for some toys for the babies when my little boys run up to me and say, “Mom there is a bad man in here.”. Turns out he was wearing a black and white shirt and it looked like the jail shirts that was on Spongebob. What about you?

Kids Say The Funniest Things..?

April 28, 2009 in Funny

when i was on the bus today this kindergartener said everyone on the bus is babies except you and me . i said why cause i’m cool? he said no cause your pretty .. i was like
so whats the funniest thing a little kids said to you?

Kids Say The Funniest Things!

April 17, 2009 in Funny

DSC_0574_m.jpgShe was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!”
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, “62.” He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo while I asked, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!”
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised. “mine says I’m four to six.”
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said, “how do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child.”
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants…”

Kids Do/say The Wildest Things.what Is The Funniest Thing A Kid Has Ever Done/said Around You?

April 16, 2009 in Funny

When I worked as a Pre-School Teacher (not to mention I’m a big sister,aunt and a mom)I have heard and seen some of the funniest things.I love trading stories and I know that there are more out there.AM I RIGHT ??

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