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What’s in the middle of the ocean?

September 13, 2009 in Funny

What’s in the middle of the ocean?
Letter E!
What did the daddy volcano say to his son volcano?
“I lava you”
What goes thousands of miles and never moves?
A highway!
Teacher: What is the shape of the earth?
Sam: Square!
Teacher: Why?
Sam:Because, my father says your fame should spread to all four corners of the world!

Funny Things Your Older Kids Have Asked About Pregnancy/birth?

August 1, 2009 in Funny

So a few minutes ago, my son who is 4, asked me the funniest question about when i am in the hospital delivering the new baby.
“Mommy, when you are done getting the baby out of your tummy, will the doctor give you a lollipop?”
I found this absolutely hysterical, lol. But of course, all kids think that every experience with a doctor is similar to what they experience when they go to their own doctor.
What funny things have your other kids asked you about pregnancy or childbirth?

Political Correctness For Kids

June 25, 2009 in Funny


Your bedroom isn’t cluttered; it’s “passage restrictive.”
Kids don’t get in trouble anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.”
You’re not having a bad hair day; you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle syndrome.”
No one’s tall anymore. They’re “vertically enhanced.”
You’re not shy. You’re “conversationally selective.”
You don’t talk a lot. You’re just “abundantly verbal.”
It’s not called gossip anymore. It’s “transmission of near-factual information.”
The food at the school cafeteria isn’t awful. It’s “digestively challenged.”
Your homework isn’t missing; it’s just having an “out-of-notebook experience.”
You’re not sleeping in class; you’re “rationing consciousness.”
You don’t have smelly gym socks; you have “odor retentive athletic footwear.”
You weren’t passing notes in class. You were “participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations.”

Big Mary

June 25, 2009 in Funny

Angelca_eating_sm1Mary had a little lamb,
a little toast,
a little jam,
a little pizza
and some cake,
some french fries
and a chocolate shake,
a little burger
on a bun.
and that’s why Mary
weighs a ton.

Has Anyones Baby Had Funny Or Odd First Word?

June 15, 2009 in Funny

angelica_buying_shoesMy 18 month old first spoke at about 12 months she clearly said “shoes” followed by “mom” and now says “mas” (more) this is my 2nd daughter, my first daughter is 3 and is a shoe freak, loves shoes, runs straight to the shoe section at the stores.
I just wanted to know if anyone else kid had a funny or strange first word.

The dentist is taking me out today!

June 15, 2009 in Funny, Riddles

angelica_on_carusel_closeWhat did one tooth say to the other tooth?
The dentist is taking me out today!

Why did the chocolate chip cookie visit the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.

What did the cowboy say when his dog left?

What did one ear say to the other ear?
Between us we have brains!

What do you call two people who embarrass you in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!

How do you make a band stand?
Hide all their chairs!

Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one!

How did the farmer fix his jeans?
With a cabbage patch!

Why was the broom late?
It over-swept!

What does a tree do when he is ready to go home?
He leaves.

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Go to sweep, dear.

What do you call a boy mermaid?
A merdude!

I bet this lake is full of fish oil

June 13, 2009 in Funny

angelica_and_fishWe went up to a lake which is about 15 minutes from our house. It’s up in the mountains, and usually pretty cold, so you can swim there only a short period of time. Anyway, as my two boys, 9 and 10, were walking along the shore looking for frogs, one of the them said “Man, this is way nicer than the local pool”. My youngest replied: “Yeah, and it’s all natural. There’s no chlorine in here.” Then he thought for a moment and said “I bet this lake is full of fish oil. That’s really good for you, you know.”
LOL…out of the mouths of babes…

Profile photo of yonen

by yonen

We have to stick together

June 13, 2009 in Funny

fish_in_glassesQ: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.

Q: What’s red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldoser.
Q: When is a baseball player like a thief?
A: When he steals a base.
Q: What is a volcano?
A: A mountain with the hiccups.
Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A: He called a toe truck.
Q: Why do two skunks argue?
A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
A: You can count on me.
Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
A: Put them in a barking lot.
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?
A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack and I’ll plaster you.
Q: What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins?
A: Slippers!
Q: What did the rug say to the floor?
A: I’ve got you covered!
Q: Why does a cow wear a bell?
A: Because her horns don’t work.

Poll; Don’t Kids Just Say The Funniest Things?

June 12, 2009 in Funny

What is the worst ‘diss’ a kid ever gave you?

Ok Folks Last Lot Of Kids Jokes Today Funny Or Not?

June 12, 2009 in Funny

One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, “Daddy, you’re the boss, aren’t you?” Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued “That’s because Mummy put you in charge, right?”
“Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?”
“But I’ve given you 10 glasses of water already!”
“Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!”
What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?
Spook when you’re spooken to!
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call two people who embarrass you in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!
How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!
My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it’s always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!
Do fathers always snore?
No – only when they are asleep!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework please Dad – I’m stuck!

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